17 Messages From God

Recently a Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a billboard campaign sponsored by an anonymous client which received some national attention.
It included 17 different messages from God.

"Let's Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game." God

"C'mon Over And Bring The Kids." God

"What Part of 'Thou Shalt Not' Didn't You Understand?"
God

"We Need To Talk." God

"Keep Using My Name in Vain And I'll Make Rush Hour Longer." God

"Loved The Wedding, Invite Me To The Marriage." God

"That Love Thy Neighbor' Thing, I Meant It." God

"I Love YouI Love YouI Love You" God

"Will The Road You're On Get You To My Place?" God

"Follow Me." God

"Big Bang Theory, You've Got To Be Kidding." God

"My Way Is The Highway." God

"Need Directions?" God

"You Think It's Hot Here?" God

"Tell The Kids I Love Them." God

"Need a Marriage Counselor? I'm Available." God

"Have You Read My #1 Best Seller? There Will Be A Test."
God

For the Rest of my Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Og Mandino, The Return of the Ragpicker, p. 136

"For the rest of my life there are two days that will never again trouble me. The first day is yesterday with all its blunders and tears, its follies and defeats. Yesterday has passed forever beyond my control.
The other day is tomorrow with its pitfalls and threats, its dangers and mystery. Until the sun rises again, I have no stake in tomorrow, for it is still unborn.
With Gods help and only one day to concentrate all my effort and energy on, this day, I can win! Only when I add the burden of those two frightening eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, am I in danger of faltering under the load. Never again! This is my day! This is my only day! Today is all there is! Today is the rest of my life"

"Deck of Cards"
Prayer Book

Upon finding that the War To End All Wars was actually at an end, a soldier wandered away from his barracks and into town. As he passed a small church, he stopped and looked in and saw that the townsfolk had gathered for worship. The soldier wandered in, down the aisle and slid into a pew. He took his seat next to some worshipers who were at that moment sitting with their heads bowed in prayer. The soldier having no prayer book took out a time-worn deck of playing cards. He fanned the cards before him and started to mumble to himself. His fellow worshipers, amazed at the soldier for displaying a deck of cards, the "Devil's Tickets," in the house of the Lord, nudged him and whispered, "Put those away, you can't do that here!"

The soldier paid little attention to them and carried on with his cards and mumblings. Soon the fellow worshipers became alarmed and sent out for the constable and the poor man was arrested. He was placed in the jail for the night and the next morning was brought before the town magistrate, charged with disorderly conduct for displaying a deck of cards in a place of worship. The Magistrate asked what he had to say for himself, "Guilty or not guilty?"

The soldier standing before the bar of justice replied, "Not guilty, Your Honor, and with your kind permission, I would like to present this defense for my actions."

With that, he took out his old time-worn deck of cards, fanned them out before him, and then he began:


"Your Honor, to me this deck of cards is my prayer book and Bible. When I look into these cards and see an Ace, it reminds me that there is only one God.

When I see the Deuce, it reminds me that the Bible is divided into two parts, the Old and the New Testaments.

When I see the Trey, it represents the three persons of the Blessed Trinitythe Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

When I see the Four, it reminds me of the four great Evangelists, who wrote the GospelsMatthew, Mark, Luke and John.

When I see the Five, Your Honor, I think of the five virgins who kept their lamps trimmed in waiting for the coming of the Lord.

When I see the Six, it reminds me that in six days God made this great Heaven and Earth.

When I see the Seven, it represents the Sabbath, a day of rest and worship.

When I see the Eight, it reminds me of the eight righteous persons who were saved from the FloodNoah, his wife, their three sons and their wives

When I see the Nine, I'm reminded of the nine lepers who were cleansed of their sins, but did not give thanks, such was their ingratitude.

When I see the Ten, I think, not only of the tenth leper, who did give thanks, but of the Ten Commandments handed down by Moses on the stone tablets, each spot for one Commandment.

Now, Your Honor, the Jack reminds me of the Knave of the Devil and to shun his temptation.

When I see the Queen, I think of the blessed Virgin Mary, who is Queen of Heaven.

The King is, of course, the King of Heaven and Earth and All Things, to whom we should all bow down and give thanks."
He folded up the deck of card, shuffled them once, and fanned them out before him. Then he continued:

"Your Honor, when I look into this deck of cards, I see that there are 365 spots, as there are 365 days in the year.

The Joker stands for Leap Year, 366 days.

There are fifty-two cards in the deck, there are fifty-two weeks in a year.

There are twelve face cards in the deck representing the twelve months of the year.

Actually, there are thirteen lunar months in the year represented by the thirteen cards in each suit.

Speaking of the suits, the deck is divided into four suitsClubs, Diamonds, Hearts and Spades; and we know that the year is divided into four seasonsSummer, Winter, Spring and Fall.

Lastly, Your Honor, this deck of cards has two colors, red and black; the red stands for the daylight, and the black for the night.
So you see, Your Honor, not only is this deck of cards my prayer book and Bible, it is also my Almanac!"
With that, His Honor said, "Case dismissed!"

version by Capt. G.E. "Hap" Hill (Ret.)